Sex Lives of Wives

Scheduling Playtime

Through the years I have heard a lot of advice from the experts about making sure you schedule time with your mate to have sex. I have always thought that to schedule it would put a damper on the spontaneity and thus the passion. However now that I continue to find my days too full, I am learning the wisdom of this advice – but not so much about scheduling sex as about scheduling time with my mate to be playful and have some fun. Having fun comes in lots of forms and does not necessarily mean just in the bedroom. Yet I have found that the more that my husband and I seek fun encounters and purposefully work at being playful with each other, the more often we have sex – and not only sex but enthusiastic sex!

So how do we purposefully work at being playful? We need to be kids again like when we were dating – try teasing him more, try wrestling him down to the floor to “punish” him, try a date alone with him exploring the city, or try any of the vast ideas in Sex Lives of Wives including the playful “Pet Penis Philosophy.” For more information, go to www.PassionSeekers.com and join us as we seek to make passion a priority again – because we all need a little more “that feels great” joy and pleasure in our over-worked lives.

Too busy, too tired

Ever notice how the busier you get and the more hectic things are the less you care about "making passion a priority." In fact during the busiest of times sex can easily be viewed as a luxury that we can't afford and even as a chore we would rather put off doing. This is too bad because like exercise, sex can act to reduce the stress in our lives. I recently had to be reminded of this fact.

I am overloaded this month with end of the summer social obligations, carting my mother to the doctors and other family responsibilities, charity auction committee duties, getting the kids ready for school, oh and preparing for the publication of my book on September 1 including the impending Today Show appearance on September 7! The last thing I need in addition to all of it is my hubby breathing down my neck (so to speak) about the lack of sexual excitement in our bedroom. The fact of the matter is right now that the only thing that excites me is the idea of some more sleep. Yet many a night lately I have lain awake wishing I could get to sleep.

Last night instead of pretending I was asleep when my husband came to bed, I decided to try a different approach. Last night I thought maybe to really get that sleep I need – that kind of deep restful sleep – maybe I should focus on fully relaxing and letting go. And what better way to do this than to have sex? Still I was not “in the mood” and not energetic about it, but I made myself take that first step. I reached out to him and held him. Before I knew it things heated up and soon I was getting into it. Amazing how just a little baby step toward seeking an intimate moment can make all the difference. Soon I was able to reach a more complete state of relaxation and finally get the productive sort of sleep my body really craved. It sure helps when I remember that sex is truly a release – an effective method to relax and let go of the worries of the day. Sharing intimate moments with one’s mate can bring some fun and needed relief to an exhausting day. Sex really is nature’s anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and sleeping pill all rolled into one. Now If I can just remember to take that “pill” regularly…