Sex Lives of Wives

To extend the life of the pipes, we have to use the faucet regularly.

Sex is like water from a faucet. When we are first together the faucet is rarely turned off and often is overflowing with its passionate force. Then as career and children begin to consume us, the faucet is shut off occasionally and sometimes even frequently. We become accustomed to taking less drinks. This is scary because we seldom realize that we are thirsty until we are well into dehydration. We forget it is cool, refreshing, and necessary to our health and the health of our relationship. If we fail to consume what the faucet provides us, soon the pipes may rust and the faucet may stop working altogether. A loving, and intimate relationship cannot survive without water to nourish the bond. Thus we must go often to the faucet and drink heartily – the healthy effects will permeate into all aspects of our relationship and our lives.

For helpful Passion Resources and to email me your thoughts/questions/concerns about the healthy benefits of “drinking plenty of water,” please visit www.PassionSeekers.com.

What do women want in the bedroom?

Unfortunately many would actually respond to the question of what women want in the bedroom with one word – “sleep.” Yes, we would like more sleep because we are all over-worked and underpaid – both outside and inside the home. However we have forgotten to collect some of the God-given “wages” awarded to us for all our hard work. We often forget that sex – the act of intimacy itself – is the glorious compensation we are entitled to receive for all our efforts in our relationship. Why don’t we look at it that way? Why is it often a “chore” instead of an “award?” Have we forgotten that it is fun, exciting, relaxing, fulfilling, and brings us closer to the infinite love of God (whether or not you believe in Him)? Too bad for us – too bad that we are working ourselves to exhaustion and forgetting to pick up the big, fat paycheck waiting for us with our mate in our own bedrooms – we are missing out on one of the true joys of life. We all need joy and fun in our lives so maybe the answer to “what women want in the bedroom” ought to be to seek out ways to fulfill that often ignored innate need – the need for passion. We need to make passion a priority! Why then is it so hard to recognize and feed this need and acknowledge that it is what we want in the bedroom?

I ask each of you: What do you think women want in the bedroom and what do you think they need? Please respond below by clicking on “comments” or as many prefer, please email me on my website at info@passionseekers.com.

Late at night

My husband is out of town and I cannot sleep. Funny how you only realize how convenient he is to have around only when he is not around. I have found that although some nights it would be easier to pretend to be asleep when he comes to bed, it is far better for me to have sex with him when he comes to bed because then I can relax and finally get to sleep!

Some of you have emailed me on my website (PassionSeekers.com) and asked why I have not posted for a few days. Well I have been struggling with how to write an inspiring blog on passion when my current passion has been to throttle my mate. Seriously though, how do we find passion inspiration when we are fighting -- or just plain annoyed -- with our spouse? Well I am a true believer in "make up sex" -- the passionate sex you have after a fight. The fact of the matter is that we are probably not going to "solve" the current issue/fight/dispute but we do still have to live peacefully together -- so why not just put it behind us by having "make up sex." Heck the "edge" of anger or annoyance we have for our mate at that moment often adds spice to the sexual encounter. Ahhhh, such a passionate encounter is far more rewarding and fulfilling than trying to hash out a problem with little hope of a mutually agreeable resolution.

Too bad he is not home tonight -- I now have the only really agreeable resolution in mind and it does NOT involve talking...

When Passion Seekers Meet

Many have asked me what my friends and I do at a “Passion Seekers” meeting. Well all in good time the details will be revealed. There is so much to share and learn from each other. Each time we meet I have more stories to tell (and share in this blog) and more insights that will inspire us. The purpose of the get-togethers is to support one another in our endeavors to keep our marriages out of the land of mediocrity and instead continually venture to new and exciting places. This does not necessarily mean the risqué but rather just remembering to take the trip in the first place -- and when out there traveling, to stop and enjoy the view. There is an endless spectrum of possibilities on the road to Passionville. We need only open our eyes to them. Thus at a Passion Seekers get-together, we have some fun sharing the wisdom of past experience, the hopes of new adventures, and anything that will help remind us that we are sexual beings, remind us that we have innate sexual needs that must be fed, and remind us that what we focus on will GROW (literally and figuratively)!

So have some fun with a small group of your closest girlfriends. Ask them about their first passionate encounter. Share the wildest tip you ever heard. Tell them about the place you and your mate almost got caught having sex. You will find, as we have, that just a little bit of focus on passion will arouse the desire not just to go home and have sex with your mate, but to enthusiastically have it!

A 4th of July to Remember!

Well, here we are heading into another long holiday weekend. As we celebrate the birth of America, we remember those early days of our great nation that held such promise for so many -- and still does. I wonder if the same holds true for our relationship. Do we remember those early days so full of promise?  Does our relationship still hold such promise for us? When was the last time it was hot and effortless? Do we remember when his touch was welcome and exciting?

I suggest that we delve into the past and remember those moments when we were so excited for his touch. I suggest that we recreate those moments. Find a sitter, put aside the “to-do list,” and find some time alone to celebrate. The celebration need not end when the last firecracker explodes. In fact, we can set off a few of our own fireworks if we put our mind to it! We can create our own display in the bedroom -- a “display” that is sure to bring oooo’s and ahhhh’s from our mate. We can build up to that big explosive finale – when we are amazed at its beauty! (Gee this fireworks analogy is too easy!)

The “display” need not be fancy. We just have to put a little effort into the creation while focusing our mind on the memory of one of those heated early encounters in our relationship. We can be the story teller –- all the while recreating those memorable moments through our actions of this moment. In telling him the “story,” our mind is clearly focused on the touch, the sensation, and the feelings. Soon the fireworks will be going off… ahhhhhhhh!