Sex Lives of Wives

My new friend Susan Page

While away at this great marriage convention, I had the fabulous gift of getting to spend time with one of the great relationship experts and the author of five books, Susan Page. I am now honored and blessed to be able to call her my friend. She has made much more of an impact on my life and my career than she will ever know. This impact includes Susan’s recent breakthrough book entitled: Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage, Jossey-Bass, 2006. I finished devouring the book on the plane ride home and am thrilled to have her sound advice to guide me. All marriages can use a refresher course from time to time and I found Susan’s book to be much more than a refresher course, but rather a new and thoroughly enlightened way to view issues within a marriage and a much more productive and successful way to handle them.  Bottom line – I need to shut my mouth, take the high road and realize communication has its limits. We all know we can only change ourselves -- and I find the same holds true for SEX. If we want more passion, more romance, more intimacy, then we have to take the lead and seek out such moments with our mate. We have to make it happen because we are the only one we have control over. Talking about it, complaining about it and wishing things were different does not accomplish anything. However, loving actions such as taking the initiative to create the environment in which passion can thrive will achieve much, much more. I will continue to try it out and keep you posted …

While away...

Hello! I am back and will be posting DAILY from now on! I am so sorry for the lack of postings these last five days. I have been out of town at a world class marriage convention listening to all the great marriage enrichment experts teach their stuff. Over the coming weeks, I will share with you the highlights and maybe even feature some of these experts in this blog and on my website -- so many marriage gurus – so little time. Basically though the advice boils down to the same tried and true guidance but OH how varied the ways in which it can all be said!

As this is a blog focusing on sex and passion inspiration, I must say – isn’t it nice to come home from a separation from one’s mate and have sex? YES! Of course four days of intense marriage workshops certainly helps, but the separation tends to more readily allow for the recognition of our innate sexual needs  -- that is if one has behaved themselves while gone -- which brings to my mind another question: Don’t you wonder how many of those marriage “experts” really practice what they teach? Wouldn’t it be a fascinating study? Not to mention, how many people, experts or otherwise, do you think are faithful to their mates while away at conventions? Dr. Barry McCarthy said in his workshop that 30 to 40% of married couples have an affair during their marriage – ouch! Sure makes one question the effectiveness of the efforts put into maintaining passion in one’s marriage. Maybe we all need to step it up a notch and make sure we are doing everything we can and everything we should to keep the passion alive. We can certainly have a lot of fun trying -- and it sure beats becoming another statistic. More soon...

What to get him for Father's Day

What to get him for Father's Day?? I know what he wants. He wants hot sex. Unfortunately, that is not something I can easily (and legally) buy for him, but I can create it myself for free. I know that I am a creative person. I know I can create the mood, the energy and the environment in which passion can thrive. However, what is a little harder to come by is the motivation to create.

Now let's see... how can I become motivated to create exactly what he really wants for Father's Day? I think maybe if I consider all the good stuff -- all the many things he does for the family and for our lifestyle and for me. If I remember that to love him requires that I show him sincere appreciation and care for his needs and desires as much as I care for my own, then I will find that motivation. Thus duly motivated, the creation of a passionate encounter in our bedroom will be oh so easy -- not to mention pleasurable!

Married sex is like going to the gym...

Married sex is like going to the gym to exercise -- sometimes it can be a chore -- one more thing you have to do in your already tight schedule. I feel guilty when my enthusiasm for sex is waning just like I feel guilty when I do not work out because I am too tired. I have to remind myself that I will feel less tired and more enthusiastic about all things once I have completed a workout -- either in the bedroom or in the gym. We all know that exercise ultimately makes us feel better -- as does a good romp in the bedroom. Once you get going at it, the more you want to do it and the more energy you have -- for all things. So I force myself to get to the gym and I force myself to initiate sex because I remember that sex, like working out, will quickly become a healthy addiction.